


Snake Lessons

by chamyl



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Demanding Aziraphale, Established Relationship, Experienced Crowley (Good Omens), Inexperienced Aziraphale (Good Omens), Love, M/M, Masturbation, Naga Crowley (Good Omens), Service Top Crowley (Good Omens), Smut, Virgin Aziraphale (Good Omens), insofar as Crowley can be the expert of anything anyway, surprise snek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:46:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28214931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chamyl/pseuds/chamyl
Summary: “That’s the point, Crowley!” Aziraphale snapped. “I’ve never done this before. I couldn’t. They kept track of what we did with our corporations, and I’m sure Hell doesn’t care, but Heaven was very much clear that angels are not supposed to indulge in sex.”Crowley didn’t know how to respond to that. He tried to start several sentences at once, producing an array of incoherent sounds that made no sense at all. When he finally regained control over his tongue, he asked, “Not once? In six thousand years?”
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 39
Kudos: 307
Collections: "O Lord Heal This Gift Exchange 2020" [OLHTS discord server], Top Crowley Library





	Snake Lessons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zera/gifts).



> Prompts used: naga Crowley, true forms, demanding Aziraphale, service Crowley.
> 
> Many thanks to [entanglednow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/entanglednow) for the beta, and happy holidays, zera 💕💕💕

He found out one day by mistake.

“How d’you like it?” He asked, uncertain fingers around the angel’s cock – the first stumbling steps into intimacy for the two of them.

“I—I don’t...”

“Fast? Slow?” Crowley insisted. He didn’t mean to pressure Aziraphale, but it was the first time they’d gotten this far, and he wanted to get it absolutely right. “Do you like it a little rough? Or careful, I can do careful too. I can press right here…” He ran his thumb over the smooth, wet head of his cock, making Aziraphale gasp. “Or tease a bit more,” he added, cradling the angel’s balls in his warm hand.

“I… I…”

“Whatever you’d like.” He growled into the angel’s ear. “Tell me how to please you.”

“I-I don’t know!”

Crowley froze for a moment, unsure what that meant. “You don’t know?”

“I’ve never—I’ve never done this before.”

“I’m... the first?  _ Really _ ?” Crowley couldn’t help but grin at the reproachful look Aziraphale shot him. “Well, no matter. But by yourself, how do you—”

“That’s the point, Crowley!” Aziraphale snapped. “I’ve never done this before. I couldn’t. They kept track of what we did with our corporations, and I’m sure Hell doesn’t care, but Heaven was very much clear that angels are not supposed to indulge in sex.”

Crowley didn’t know how to respond to that. He tried to start several sentences at once, producing an array of incoherent sounds that made no sense at all. When he finally regained control over his tongue, he asked, “Not once? In six  _ thousand  _ years?”

“No! Not once!”

“Sweet fuck, angel. How aren’t you about to explode?” Aziraphale looked down at his angry red cock, which led Crowley to do the same. “Ah, I see. But—but why? You could eat and drink and—”

“That’s really quite different, isn’t it?” Aziraphale’s cheeks were flushed in embarrassment. They looked a little like apples, and Crowley really wanted to bite them. Something about having sex with the angel brought out the most animalistic side of him, the snake lying in wait underneath. “Minor transgression versus… _exceptionally_ forbidden sin. I could stand a slap on the wrist if someone bothered to check my records and saw I had a bit too much wine. But I can’t imagine what would have happened if anyone saw that I had been, well, touching myself. Or anything such.”

“Ah, yeah, couldn’t possibly go over well, that one.” He felt Aziraphale’s cock begin to soften in his fingers and hurried to give it a little nudge. He smirked and leaned over to lick along the shell of Aziraphale’s ear, making him gasp. “I'll just have to figure this out by myself then, won't I?”

⚜️

It was a cold Wednesday or Thursday morning (Crowley always seemed to lose track of days) and he was happily wrapped around Aziraphale. They were on the angel’s bed, Crowley’s back against the headboard, Aziraphale between his legs. The angel was leaning back against his chest and had a book in front of him, something to read while Crowley snoozed contentedly, his chin over the angel’s shoulder.

Except he’d been awake for a while now, a thought stuck in his head. It was a bit like that time he’d unhinged his jaw and eaten a whole chicken just to see if he could, and then a bone had got stuck in his throat because he’d forgotten the rest of his anatomy was still relatively human. He just couldn’t get rid of it.

“What is it, darling?” Aziraphale, never one to be fooled easily, had obviously noticed he hadn’t been napping as planned.

“Just thinking – would you like me to show you?”

“Show me what, exactly?”

Crowley laid a kiss on the side of his neck. “How to touch yourself. Now that you can.”

He couldn’t see Aziraphale’s expression from where he was sitting, but the angel went suddenly very still. Slowly, he moved the book away and left it on the bedside table, which signalled to Crowley he was, at the very least, very interested in the idea. Why else would he put the book somewhere they couldn’t risk damaging it?

“I’m not unsatisfied, Crowley. You’re very good to me.”

“S’not the point. It’s different when you do it by yourself.”

Aziraphale remained quiet for a few moments, mulling it over. “Would you be amenable?”

“Would I—of course! ‘sides, part of my job description, is it not?”

“To teach angels how to masturbate?”

“Er, no, I was thinking ‘lead on the road to perdition’ or something fancier like that. Either way… yes. I’d like to ‘teach’ you, if you want to learn.”

“I want to learn,” Aziraphale replied, too quickly not to betray his eagerness. Crowley licked his lips and noticed his tongue had gone forked. The instinct to coil himself around the angel, to squeeze, to taste him—it was so strong it was almost impossible to ignore. “Where should I start?” Aziraphale asked, already a little breathless.

“Easy there, angel,” Crowley said, mostly for his own benefit, since he also needed a moment to gather his thoughts. “Okay, alright, just…” He grabbed a pillow and propped himself up a little more, then wrapped his arms around Aziraphale’s waist. The angel was wearing a shirt, his signature bowtie, and his cashmere trousers, as well as a pair of soft black socks that, as Crowley now knew, were held up by sock garters that had no business looking as hot as they did. “Start simple. Unbutton your shirt. Slowly.”

Aziraphale did. Button by button he opened his light blue shirt, showing the thin undershirt underneath. Crowley breathed against his neck, trying hard to keep his tongue from flicking out and his scales from surfacing on his arms and legs.

“Good. Now I want you to touch yourself over your clothes. Not just—not right there, not immediately. Have fun with it, wander about.”

Aziraphale made an affirmative noise and began stroking himself, unsure at first, then quickly gaining confidence. He put his hands on his belly, then breathed in as dragged them up his chest. He let his thumbs brush against his nipples through the silk of his undershirt and Crowley caught himself hissing.

It was one thing to be the one touching the angel, to be entirely focused on him – it was another completely to sit there, watching the angel touch himself, and to  _ want _ . He’d yearned for Aziraphale for so long, and it felt maddening to stop himself from reaching out.

Aziraphale closed his eyes and let out a soft noise of pleasure which rattled all of Crowley’s thoughts and made his toes curl. Regrettably, there were already claws on his hands and feet. But maybe Aziraphale wouldn’t notice. Crowley cleared his throat. “That’s right. That’s good. Keep going.”

The angel’s hands moved to his knees now, giving the flesh there a little excited squeeze before he slowly slid them up towards his groin. He spent time on his thighs – his wonderfully fat thighs, and Crowley felt his eyes helplessly turn entirely yellow as he thought about sinking his fangs into them and making the angel shriek. Fangs – yes, he also had fangs now, apparently. Fuck.

Aziraphale didn’t pop open the button of his trousers, instead cupping himself through the fabric, just like Crowley had told him to do.

“Hnnn, Crowley…” The angel reached back with one hand to cling to Crowley’s shoulder as his hips bucked up into his own palm, and Crowley realised he was, well - royally fucked. There was no way he was going to be able to keep himself from shape-shifting.

There is a particular calmness in knowing your situation is hopeless. In the eye of the hurricane, Crowley realised there was nothing he could do about it. He was too aroused, too eager, too stimulated – he was going to turn, and he’d just have to deal with the consequences.

He didn’t quite realise his legs had transformed into a tail until he felt it wrapping around Aziraphale’s legs and pulling hard. He chanced a look down and realised he was a snake all the way up to the waist, and had fangs, claws, and possibly too many teeth.

Aziraphale had stopped moving.

“I didn’t—I can’t help it,” Crowley began. “You’re just too—”

“Do you think you can keep, well…” Aziraphale ran an affectionate hand over the smooth scales of his tail. “Holding me as tightly as you are now?”

“I, uh, sure, yeah.” Crowley wasn’t sure whether he’d be able to _ not _ do that, truth be told. But it’d be fine. Aziraphale wasn’t some random human – he was strong enough to handle it and free himself from Crowley’s grasp, if it ever got to be too much.

“Good. I quite like it, I have to say.”

“ _ Aziraphale, _ ” Crowley hissed.

“Darling. Tell me what else to do.”

There was a demanding note in his voice that made Crowley a little mad with desire. He wanted to let go and mindlessly rut against Aziraphale’s lovely arse until he came, but he had to focus. He  _ wanted _ to focus.

“Ah, how’s it doing? Your—”

He saw Aziraphale giving his cock a merciless squeeze through his trousers. “Hard. Quite… quite hard, yes.”

“Good, good. Take it out and hold it, but don’t move your hand yet.”

Aziraphale did. His hips quivered as if he were struggling to keep them still, and Crowley swallowed. It was going to get harder by the second to stay calm enough and keep giving him instructions.

“It should be—a little wet,” he rasped, claws digging into Aziraphale’s sides to stop himself from touching. “Is it?”

Aziraphale stroked the tip with this thumb, just like Crowley had done, and his head lolled back over Crowley’s shoulder. “Ah… yes, yes.”

“Perfect. Yeah. Begin moving – slowly. And your other hand, uh… try fondling your balls or something.”

Aziraphale chuckled breathlessly as he began to move his hand. “That doesn’t sound very inviting.”

“Well, you try. There’s no good word for ‘balls’.” Aziraphale gave him an amused sideways glance before dropping his free hand down to cup his balls, then farther down, enough to make Crowley wonder whether he was already fingering himself. “Didn’t tell you to do that.”

“You said ‘or something’,” Aziraphale argued. “This is ‘something’.”

“You little—” Crowley was smiling, couldn’t help himself from doing it either. Aziraphale being an unrepentant know-it-all during sex was just like him. And Crowley was so incredibly fond of him it made his heart - along with other parts of him - ache. “Fine, I’ll allow it.”

Aziraphale smiled, but thankfully he did not comment on Crowley’s choice of words. They both knew that, despite how it could have looked from the outside, Crowley wasn’t allowing anything, he was letting Aziraphale choose exactly where and how this went.

“Anything else?” Aziraphale asked, just as a pearl of precome formed on the head of his cock, and Crowley silently mourned that he wouldn’t be able to lick it off from where he was sitting.

“Faster,” he growled. His tail twitched helplessly around the angel’s ankle. “Faster. Aziraphale, I can’t—full speed now, make yourself finish for me, I need to see it. Please.”

Aziraphale didn’t have any smart reply for him this time, he just kept his eyes closed and moved his hand up and down in quick, jerky movements, his other hand keeping the same rhythm as he pushed a finger in and out of his arsehole. Crowley was burning to do something,  _ anything _ , and it was only by some miracle that he managed to keep himself perfectly still.

And then, finally, Aziraphale came with a loud, obscene moan, hot spurts of semen painting white over Crowley’s black tail, where it was coiled around the angel’s thigh.

That was it. Crowley couldn’t take it anymore. He was about to pin Aziraphale down and find some way to get himself off – when the angel in his arms gasped and suddenly went… soft?

Crowley felt incredibly confused. Slowly, his brain began catching up with what his eyes were seeing. He blinked several times as he realised Aziraphale’s legs were gone, replaced by a tail covered in shimmery scales. The angel, just like him, was now a snake from the waist down. White and silvery and absolutely gorgeous, no doubt about it, but – what the fuck was happening?

“You—snake—how— _ angel _ ?!”

“Oh dear,” Aziraphale said, the lower half of his body wrapping around Crowley and making his throat produce weird, incoherent noises. “That was meant to be a surprise. I’ve been practicing since the first time I saw you like this. I hadn’t meant to show you just yet.”

“Ngk,” Crowley replied.

“Well? Do you like it?”

“Angel,” Crowley said. “Spare a quick miracle to make sure this bed is strong enough so that I don’t fuck you through it. Right now.”

“Oh my,” Aziraphale replied, his smile so bright Crowley regretted the absence of his dark glasses. “I suppose I will, yes.”


End file.
